Prevention of violence against children: A pressing concern, an absolute necessity
Little had I expected this trip to India to be as harrowing as it turned out to be. Perhaps, the hardest thing for me to comprehend is the scale of violence inflicted on children. In legal terms children are defined as persons under the age of 18 years in India. And indeed, violence appears to have no barriers - children as young as a few months old to teenaged girls and everyone in between is subject to being victimised.
The Ahimsa Pilot Initiative was started in order to work with organizations that will prevent violence against women and children. In most cases, in emotional terms, violence on a child is tantamount to violence against the mother and visa-versa.
I visited SNEHA Mumbai’s three-year project on Prevention of Violence against Children. The program is being carried out in the slums where SNEHA has been operational for decades. It examines both the corporal disciplining practices currently being followed by parents as well as cases of sexual absue that occur. Furthermore, it cousels parents and children (through age-appropriate learning modules and strategies) on youth violence, substance abuse, sexual and physical abuse. 400 children and 400 parents (primarily mothers) are enrolled as participants in this research and action-based pilot study.
Prevention of violence against children: SNEHA Mumbai staff hold a meeting with parents to inform them about the signs for recognizing sexual abuse in children.
Photo credit: SNEHA Mumbai
On the day I visited, a cluster of mothers - some of who brought their younger children - got together in a small open area in the middle of the slum to learn about the signs for recognizing sexual abuse in children. The trainer from SNEHA showed them a video and then had an open discussion allowing for plenty of back and forth. The women were able to discuss these matters openly among themselves, and in the presence of SNEHA’s staff who could answer questions, guide the disucssion. They learnt how to pay close attention if they see sudden changes in their child’s behaviour. For example, a normally boisterous child turning quiet; a normally well behaved one becoming particulary aggressive etc.
Just at that time I did not realize how important life-saving trainings like these can be. However, when I visited the NGO Guria India in Benaras I met with a few girls who were survivors of violence. Of these, one was Sonali, a 19 year old girl, who lived in a small village community on the outskirts of Benaras. Her mother works as a maid, her father is handicapped by illness and no longer works. When Sonali was 10 years old, her cousin brother, who was 28 years old at the time and lived in practically the same compound as Sonali, began to molest her. He would call her over and for three years he raped the child while the parents were away. After about three years, he called his friends over to join - so that there were multiple boys utterly victimizing this young child.
Sonali’s mother cried when she told me, “It was my fault. I did not understand what was going on. She (Sonali) would refuse to take the food to her cousin when I asked her to. She would say: ‘I won’t go.’ But I did not understand. I did not understand what my child was trying to say. I thought she is just being stubborn.” She also remembered, “She (Sonali) changed. She became very quiet and would not speak up. She looked sad.”
Urban slums, like Dharavi, are congested, lack basic facilities, and they are also home to many thousands of children.
Photo credit: SNEHA Mumbai
Had Sonali’s mother been aware of what signs to look for in her daughter, what to watch out for, perhaps she would have been able to prevent the violence from continuing over years - heartbreakingly unchecked! At 13, Sonali’s periods started, and soon after they stopped, i.e., she fell pregnant. Her cousin who had been raping her for years abducted her and took her away to dispose of the unborn child. They planned to abort the child and sell the girl. However, Sonali’s mother hunted and cried and begged the police for days before they got on the case. They quickly traced the boy and his associate through eye-witnesses who had last seen Sonali with them.
Sonali was brought back to Benaras and put into a Shelter Home where the Warden of the Home did her best to destroy all medical evidence as well as brainwash the girl so she would not testify against her cousin. By that time both the police and the Warden had been paid by the parents’ of the rapists. They were determined that Sonali would not speak up. At this point, Guria was brought into the picture. They filed a court case against two boys, one of who was Sonali’s cousin, the other being one of his friends. Sonali spoke the truth in the presence of the magistrate. The case was registered. One boy was a juvenile and released with a light sentence (as is the case for juveniles in India). The other boy, Sonali’s cousin, was also released on bail. He is currently free while the case grinds through the halls of justice at its own excruciating pace.
In the meantime, Sonali’s cousin and his parents started to pressure her mother to marry Sonali off to her own cousin who had raped her, abducted her, had her child aborted, and had planned to sell her off for a few hundred thousand rupees. If not for Guria’s presence, Sonali’s mother would have definitely married her daughter off to her rapist. This is often the resolution to the dilemma of rape/incest in India: marriage to the rapist. This will save face for the family. The daughter’s honor will be restored. She will become a married woman, ‘taken care’ of by her husband, associated with his name.
Today Sonali stays at home, hardly steps out - for she is subject to much ridicule and jokes by the villagers. She is doing some work, including taking orders for sewing, within the four walls of her house. She is often depressed and had talked of killing herself. Her older brother, also the victim of ridicule, almost succeeded in committing suicide out of guilt and misery when he found out what had happened with his sister. Their family is suffering for speaking out, for not marrying their daughter to her rapist, for fighting (against all odds) for justice.
This then is just one story of many that is repeated over and over again in households. In slums where the density of population is intense and space is practically non-existent, it is so much harder for parents to watch their children. In homes where parents have to leave their children unattended for hours on end daily, it is so much easier that something like this should happen. And yet, this kind of abuse is perpetrated across all manner of households - from the rich to the middle-class to the poor.
Every child deserves a safe childhood that they may grow up to be healthy and happy individuals. Photo taken at Guria’s non-formal education center in Benaras.
Photo credit: Guria India
Awareness is one of the key factors to ensure prevention. This is where SNEHA’s trainings directed towards both parents and children become crucial.
SNEHA was started by Dr. Fernandez who began the organization for the purposes of improving maternal and child health and survival. There were however, two particular cases, that prompted Dr. Fernandez to add the component of ‘prevention of violence against women and children (PVWC)’ to the agenda of the organization. Dr. Fernandez came across a case of a 6 month old girl who was brought to the hospital, bleeding, because she had been raped. Another time, when there was a worker’s strike in the hospital, she noticed a mother, who had a fractured hand, squatting overnight within the hospital premises, with her two small children close to her. This woman had been beaten and thrown out of her house. After these two incidents, in the year 2000, the component of PVWC was added on to SNEHA’s work.
Horrific as these stories are, I heard them time and again, in the government hospital that I visited with SNEHA, and again in Benaras, where I was told that the number of cases being brought to court under The Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act (POCSO), 2012, are so great that 4 separate courts have had to be set up to meet the huge numbers being filed.
I learnt of cases so horrific that to put them up here (even without any visuals) would require a warning: Distressing content.
What does it say about our society? What indeed does it say about Indian culture? These are not isolated cases of deviants. These cases are wide-spread. They are shockingly common. Not enough is being done to stem this tide of violence. If we have knowledge, we must follow through with action. Childen do not have a #metoo movement. We must be their voice.
